Between the Human and the Divine

There is within me a very deep feeling of separation. As if, somehow, I do not truly belong.

And perhaps this is one of the most primordial traumas of the human experience.

The idea that, before arriving on Earth, there was unity.

Everything was one single thing.

Without separation.

Without individuality.

And then we came to Earth to experience precisely the opposite.

The experience of being an individual.

A body.

An identity separated from the whole.

And even before we are born, we once again experience a kind of unity inside the mother’s body. For months, there is no distinction. For a baby, they and the mother are the same thing.

And suddenly birth happens.

The baby leaves the mother’s body without being able to understand what is happening.

What was once unity suddenly becomes separation.

And that is deeply frightening.

Perhaps that is why we spend our entire lives trying to return to an inner place of belonging.

Especially when, after birth, there was also no emotional capacity to fully hold us. Not necessarily because of a lack of love, but because our parents were also carrying their own pains, limitations, and inner separations.

So this feeling of being outside of life grows within many people.

As if love were outside.

Belonging were outside.

God were outside.

Safety were outside.

And we are here, separated.

Of course, this does not mean feeling absolute pain all the time. But there is often an underlying feeling. A subtle distance from life, from others, from the whole.

And for a long time, I felt that I could only touch that feeling of unity again in more transcendental states. As if, in order to feel belonging, I almost had to “leave here.”

As if there were an incompatibility between being human and feeling union.

But today I am beginning to feel something else.

That perhaps it is possible to be in heaven and on Earth at the same time.

To be an individual without losing connection to the whole.

To have an identity without losing awareness of unity.

Because I do not believe we came here to stop being human. Quite the opposite. I deeply feel that I came here to live this human experience fully. To feel the body, relationships, individuality, desires, limits, matter.

But without losing connection to the divine.

Without feeling that God, the universe, spirit, or love exist somewhere outside of me.

Because perhaps we are not separated from that.

Perhaps we are that.

Sparks of the same consciousness living different experiences through different bodies.

And perhaps the true path is not choosing between the human and the divine.

But learning to hold both at the same time.

Learning to be deeply human without forgetting unity. And deeply spiritual without escaping life.