When I started to like myself

My life changed completely when I started to like myself.

And it didn't happen in a day. There was no click, no single moment, no revelation.

It took years.

What was there, every day

Years in which therapy was the main thing in my life. Top priority, above everything else.

Years in which exercise gradually became a priority. And food. And choosing the right people around me.

Years of finding other perspectives on the same things, the same people, the same behaviours.

And above all, years of looking at myself without flinching. If something is bothering me, that's mine, so what is it?

Looking at my emotions. Not running from them. Not putting them onto other people. Not blaming anyone for what I feel.

A little more, and a little more

That's how it went: choosing myself a little more, and then a little more again.

With days that went backwards and days that went forwards, because I'm not just my head.

And at some point, without quite noticing, it became much calmer to live inside myself. Inside my head, inside my body, inside my emotions.

Where I am now

Today I'm at a point where I don't want anything in my life to have been different.

Not because it was all good. But because if something behind me changed, I'd be risking the present changing too.

And I won't risk who I am today for anything.

My life is far from perfect. There's plenty I'd like to have and don't, plenty I want to live and haven't yet.

But I take my risks forwards. Never backwards.