Between Holding and Flow: Finding Balance in the Energy of Receiving and Giving

Money matters have been very present in my life. My work is not yet generating the income I would like, while expenses have increased, as has been happening for everyone. There are also pending issues, and all of this makes money a constant theme.

I’ve been realizing that I have a tendency to accumulate. When I look at money, I feel that it represents other areas of my life where I believe I need to hold on, because I might not have enough in the future. Even if rationally I don’t fully believe this, it’s as if there is an internal programming saying: “you have to accumulate, because it might run out.”

This becomes limiting. Instead of seeing money as something that flows, that expands, and that can bring more possibilities, I end up viewing it as something that needs to be held onto. And that creates a feeling of restriction, as if I’m blocking energy. I realize that this pattern doesn’t apply only to money, but also to other areas of my life.

I feel that part of this comes from my ancestry. On one hand, I inherited the importance of security, protection, and managing money. On the other, I also inherited the impulse to enjoy, spend, and expand. The problem is that these two sides are not in balance—they compete with each other, and that makes my life oscillate between extremes.

For many years, especially when I was younger, I was more on the side of accumulation. Then I moved to the opposite extreme—expansion and spending—where the focus was on growth and enjoyment. Now I feel that I’ve returned again to a point closer to accumulation.

It seems that life is asking me to find balance between these two poles. I believe that resources are abundant, that the universe is infinite, and that there is enough for everyone, including me. But I also recognize that expansion should not mean waste. At times, my expansion has come with wastefulness.

So the question becomes: how do I find balance between not living in scarcity and not living in excess? How do I avoid closing off, but also avoid overspending?

I feel that there is stagnant energy here ready to be released, and that these patterns are ready to be transformed. Perhaps even with the support of my ancestry—not as something obligatory, but as something possible and desired.

Being aware of this is already very important.

At its core, this is about honoring. Honoring money, and honoring everything that comes into my life. Honoring the cycle: receiving, using, transforming, and sharing, just as happens in nature.

I imagine a tree that bears apples. I can receive them with fear, thinking it’s all I will have and that I need to store everything. Or I can receive them with gratitude, recognizing the miracle of planting a seed and seeing fruit emerge.

Then comes the question of what to do with those apples. I can eat them, share them, preserve them, turn them into jam, or plant new trees. There are many possibilities. That is not wasting—it is using, transforming, and continuing the cycle.

But even here there can be imbalance: keeping everything for myself until it spoils, or giving everything away and being left with nothing. True balance lies between keeping and sharing.

It’s about how I receive, how I sustain, and how I distribute what comes into my life.

And although this reflection began with money, I feel that it is, in truth, much bigger than that.