Turns out, setting an intention isn't about control

I've always struggled with setting an intention before doing any kind of therapeutic work.

At retreats, workshops or sessions, we were often invited to set an intention at the beginning.

Sometimes I did.

Sometimes I didn't.

And when I did, it was almost out of obligation.

Because, to me, setting an intention felt limiting.

I used to think, "My mind may want one thing, but the universe might have something far more extraordinary in store for me. If I set an intention, I'm limiting what could happen."

For many years, I saw intention as a form of control.

Until recently, when someone who reached out to book a session gave me a completely different perspective.

She told me she was going through a confusing time and wasn't sure whether to book a Systemic Constellation or an Aura Reading.

Then she added:

"I think I'd rather have an Aura Reading because, although I do have these questions, I want whatever is most important to come through."

As I read her message, I immediately recognised myself.

How many times had I thought exactly the same thing?

"I have this issue... but if there's something more important, let that come instead."

And don't get me wrong.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

What I realised is that the same choice can come from very different places.

That was the moment something clicked.

For a long time, whenever I refused to set an intention, I believed I was trusting the universe.

But in reality, many times I was simply giving away my personal power.

It was as if I were saying:

"You decide for me."

And that's very different from consciously choosing to stay open to the unexpected.

When there's something that's been occupying our minds for days, months, or even years—when we know exactly what we want to understand or transform—choosing not to look at it isn't always surrender.

Sometimes it's a way of not taking ownership of our own experience.

Today I see that setting an intention isn't about limiting the universe.

It's about taking responsibility for the experience I'm about to have.

It's saying:

"This is where I want to look."

And that's profoundly different from trying to control the outcome.

Because I can set a very specific intention.

Or I can set a completely open one.

I can say:

"I want to understand this relationship."

Or I can say:

"I'm open to this session showing me whatever is most important for me right now."

Both are intentions.

Both are equally valid.

The difference isn't the intention itself.

It's the motivation behind it.

Am I choosing?

Or am I avoiding the choice?

Today I realise that even the most open intention can be an expression of personal power.

Because I'm the one who chose it.

Because I'm the one who said:

"Today, I choose to surrender to whatever arises."

That is very different from simply not making a choice because I believe the universe knows better than I do.

Of course my awareness is limited.

Of course there are things I still cannot see.

But I'm also the one living this experience.

I'm the one who feels.

I'm the one asking the questions.

I'm the one wanting to understand.

I have every right to ask for help with a specific issue.

And I also have every right to say that, today, I'd rather keep my intention open.

Both choices can come from exactly the same place:

Personal power.

I've finally realised that setting an intention isn't about gripping the reins tightly.

It's about recognising that they're already in my hands.

Then I can pull them.

I can loosen them.

I can even choose to hand them over for a while.

But I'm the one making that choice.

And that changes everything.

Because consciously handing over the reins...

...is very different from pretending they were never in your hands to begin with.